A Return to Home

& five actions to take this week to protect our home

My house during a January snow storm. Taken by my wife, Alexa.

Thank you for being here. If reading this in an email, you may have to hit ‘click to expand’ or ‘read in browser’ because this is a long one!

I read somewhere a few months ago that when you enter your home, you should greet it - as if it were a person, a living being. Sometimes I forget to do the greeting, but I always take a deep breath upon returning, almost subconsciously. As soon as I step through the door, a sense of peace and groundedness greets me. To me, there’s no better feeling than coming home.

We’ve lived here just over three years now, and I often find myself daydreaming about the stories this house has held. The fifteen years the previous owner lived here, and the thirty years before that, when the original owner called it home. Alexa and I were surprised to learn that all three owners of this house, including us, have been women. An unexpected twist of fate. Here goes my second post with a Taylor Swift reference…. but it’s one of my favorites, her song about the history of her Rhode Island home. Such clever songwriting. When I listen to it, I think about my own home, too.

The original owner of my home was a pioneer. One of the first women in Connecticut to get divorced, at a time when that was radical - and she became a fierce advocate for women’s right to leave marriages. She had no children. She was deeply involved at UConn as a scientist in the medical field. (Yes, my Gemini Wife did an entire research project on who lived here before us, and we were astounded!) It truly feels like divine intervention that we ended up here.

I’ve nicknamed our home Honey House - partly for its color, a warm beige-yellow, and partly because I want our days here to be like honey. Slow. Sweet. Making a moment stretch just a little longer, like a dash of honey melting into tea. Romanticizing life, right?

I’ve memorized the creaks in our floors, the whining of our old steam radiators, the distant hum of the train passing by, which I find oddly comforting. My living room is south-facing, and when the sun streams in mid-morning and again in the afternoon, it feels cinematic. I curl up on the chaise of our yellow couch, and for a moment, everything feels just right.

Sun streaming in as I sit on the couch with a stunningly delicious cappuccino and my cat Rooney.

Alexa and I joke that our home has become a compound we never want to leave. The world outside feels chaotic these days, and there’s nothing better to me than a weekend spent at home. Lately, having friends over for coffee and brunch has felt like a kind of flow state.

Alexa, locked in on making cappuccinos. Me, laying out a simple brunch spread that impresses every time: a frittata, something sweet (French toast casserole, though no one makes it quite like my mom), or this sheet pan German pancake brunch dish that belongs firmly in the low effort, high reward category. It’s just a few, simple ingredients that are mixed in one bowl, poured onto a quarter size sheet pan and puffs up beautifully. The texture is somewhere between a crêpe, a pancake and a popover. I’m also adamant about always having something fresh on the table. For brunch, it’s whatever fruit is in season, tossed with mint, a pinch of salt, and a drizzle of honey. The german pancake proves to be a delicious vehicle for any type of fruit combination.

For a moment, the troubles of the outside world fade. My favorite people are gathered around the table, yapping, laughing, and at ease. I’m craving and cultivating more moments like that.

After years of go-go-go energy, saying yes to every opportunity, taking advantage of our cheap rent to travel whenever we could - a return to home feels like the respite I didn’t know I needed. It also feels like a place to make uniquely mine.

As a child, I was constantly rearranging my room, moving furniture around, imagining new layouts for the living room. I’ve always been deeply attuned to how a space looks and feels. Designing this home has been an outlet for that creative expression, and I love the little touches throughout that tell a story. This year (fingers crossed), we’re hoping to finally renovate our original 1950s bathroom. I can’t wait to bring our design inspiration to life. Selfishly, I’ve also never lived anywhere with a working bathtub, and there is nothing I want more than a slow Sunday morning, drawing a bath with magnesium salts, flipping through The New Yorker, the sun streaming in through the window. Manifesting this hard.

My cozy dining room on my 31st Birthday using my Aunt’s china. The picture of the mermaid was thrifted at Harwich Antique Center in Cape Cod, MA.

We still have plenty of unfinished rooms, and I’ve been debating whether to share more of that creative process. Would you be interested? I’ve been thinking about adding a “Cozy Spaces” section to my Substack, a way to document the transformation. Our home is small (1,200 square feet!) and I lean toward a mix of mid-century modern and coastal New England, with new and secondhand finds woven in. I’d love to share more of that creative side with you.

As winter lingers, I’m working on staying present. These in-between seasons, between winter and spring, between one chapter and the next - are easy to wish away. There’s always the next thing to prepare for, the next home project, the next task on my list.

But I’m doing my best to stay present, and soak in the now. I want to watch my magnolia tree bloom in slow motion, the fuzzy buds having grown in size over the past few weeks. Almost invisible to the eye, unless you’re paying close attention. The Magnolia usually blooms in mid-to-late April and marks the first signs of spring, while my lilacs, dogwood, and hostas wait their turns to bloom in May. I want to celebrate the shower of my future nieces and parents-to-be just as much as I’ll celebrate the moment they are actually here. I want to hear the familiar, comforting sounds of my home as I write from the couch. I want to take a deep breath, and say hello to the place that holds me - through every season, every return.

If you’re also in an in-between season, here are a few reflections I’ve been sitting with:

- What am I holding onto as I navigate this transition?

- How do I define home? Is it a place, a person, a feeling?

- Write a small, ordinary snapshot of life at home. What do you notice? Anything surprising?

Reader, my hope is that your journey home, whatever that looks like for you - is comforting, nourishing, and a place of respite in a world that often feels like too much.

Be well,
Vanessa

Given the current political climate, instead of including my usual 5 things I’m loving, I’m replacing it with 5 Actions I’m Taking this Week. I hope you will join me or share something you’ve felt called to take action on to preserve and protect this country - and our home - together!

5 Actions I’m Taking This Week

Even taking one small action can make a big difference. It’s so easy to block out the news, and bury our heads in the sand. Trust me, I know that it’s easier to numb it out and become exhausted by it all. The truth is, it’s up to all of us to push for the changes we want to see. It’s up to us to demand that our elected leaders work for us and not for the billionaires. Action, no matter how small, is always better than doomscrolling or looking away because it doesn’t impact you directly. Climate change, attacks on our rights and our land, gun violence… could be in your neighborhood next week. America is our home, and she needs us now more than ever to take action.

1. Calling my senators using the 5 Calls app

5 Calls is an easy-to-use app that helps you make impactful calls to your representatives on the issues that matter most. It provides call scripts, phone numbers, and background information on key topics, making it simple to voice your concerns. Right now, I’m calling about:

• Protecting our national parks

• Abortion rights and reproductive freedom

• LGBTQ+ rights and anti-discrimination protections

Phone calls are one of the most effective ways to reach lawmakers - staffers track constituent calls, and enough pressure can actually shift policy decisions. If you’re unsure about what to say, 5 Calls provides a script to make it easy. This takes 5-10 minutes of your time, taking a small action that makes a big different. I’m planning to work this into my Monday morning routine. Let’s do it together!

2. Educating myself and others about the realities of “just moving”

I often hear people say, “If abortion becomes illegal nationwide, I’ll just move to Canada.” But this is American privilege speaking. Moving abroad isn’t as simple as packing up and starting over, especially as immigrants (Yes, you would be an immigrant, not an ExPat) who don’t speak the language or have independent financial security. Many countries have strict immigration policies, and without wealth, dual citizenship, or an in-demand skill, relocating isn’t a viable option for most of us. Instead of looking for an escape route, we should be working to protect and preserve our country from creeping fascism. If you’ve ever thought about leaving the U.S., I highly recommend reading this thought-provoking substack essay by

Gregory Garretson

in his newsletter

Living Elsewhere

.

Are You One of the Few Americans who Could Move to Europe?

Alexa and I were especially fascinated by the first question it poses: Are you a security person or a discovery person? Definitely a great dinner table conversation starter.

3. Locking down my credit after learning what DOGE is doing with Americans’ data

I recently listened to an episode of Calm News with Jessica Yellin, a new segment of the WCDHT podcast, and learned about the alarming ways DOGE is accessing millions of Americans personal information. To protect myself from identity theft and financial fraud, I followed their advice and froze my credit with all three major bureaus. If you haven’t done this yet, here’s how:

Freeze your credit for free:

• Experian

• Equifax

• TransUnion

This prevents anyone (including scammers) from opening credit in your name. I also discovered that

Jessica Yellin

has a substack and recently subscribed to her newsletter

News Not Noise

.

4. Spending less time on social media & consuming news intentionally

Social media burnout is real, and I’ve found that reducing my screen time has been a game-changer for my mental health. I use an app blocker to block social media from 8 AM–6 PM, and my productivity, as well as my mental health, has improved.

To stay informed without the doomscrolling, I’m trying out these two podcasts instead:

• NPR’s Up First – Quick, factual morning news updates

• Pivot – Smart analysis of tech, politics, and business

5. Talking to family & friends who voted for Trump

In 1930s Germany, part of how Hitler and the Nazis rose to power was because the left, center-left, and far-left couldn’t find common ground.

That same polarization is happening here. If we want to fight back against the billionaire class and the rise of fascism, we must have hard conversations with people in our lives who are being misled by propaganda.

How to talk to loved ones about politics:

• Braver Angels – A nonprofit teaching Americans to have difficult political conversations

• Resources for Talking to Conservatives – Facts & strategies for approaching these discussions

• A Guide to Talking to Trump Supporters (The Guardian)

• I’ve sent this information to my family members, so they understand how the president and Republican majority are negatively impacting millions of middle and lower-class Americans financially, while giving the largest cuts to the richest.

I know it’s uncomfortable. But, these conversations do matter. I hope this inspires you to take action in ways that feel right for you. Even one small step, whether it’s calling your senator, locking down your credit, or simply having a conversation, makes a difference.

And if you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath. You don’t have to do everything at once, but you can do something. One thing. One easy thing.

What’s one action you’re taking this week? Let’s keep each other accountable.

Such a lovely affirmation I found while scrolling Substack notes.